When you pay the Earth’s “most customer centric company” $50 to nicely gift wrap Xmas presents for your loved ones… this is what you get this year. Enjoy

This must have been used as a football

The office party in the warehouse did everything apart from vomit on my Xmas gifts

Here you go Auntie. What, you can see the present from the outside? And that dog hair on the wrapping? Oh, that was the warehouse rottweiler that was chewing your DVDs when they were wrapping it.

Don't worry about the holes in the wrapping we're having a party back here in the warehouse and too fricking drunk to care

Ok enough of these ugly things… you have been warned.

There is something compelling about the notion of carrying nothing to experience everything, of losing all the aggregated clutter our lives have accumulated that coerce us into a gentle suffocation. Last month I read Henry David Thoreau’s “Walking” - a gentle narrative that explores the concept of “sauntering”. As Thoreau himself points out the word “saunter” is a derivative of the French “sans terre” meaning “without land”.

Tom Hodgkinson is perhaps the modern incarnation of these timeless works with his excellent “How to be Idle” and “How to be Free” both focusing on practical manifestation of the esoteric - the art of being in the moment. Hodgkinson devotes an entire chapter to the “noble art of idle sauntering” in “How to be Idle”. A gentleman who is not predisposed to the ignoble distractions of the salaried classes, should begin his idle saunter at around 11am. A stroll around the city until lunch and then, perhaps, a light Martini.

Last week I picked up “Roughing It” by Mark Twain. Now, I’ve read Twain off and on since my childhood and his witty aphorisms carry many of political and societal commentary. Roughing It, however, was a true gem; the semi-autobiographical recollection of his cross-country sojourn in 19th Century America via stagecoach. The dream of sleeping under the stars, camp fires and endless days of nothingness.

What’s compelling about sauntering and this “truly ancient condition” is its ability to connect our sterilized existence with something more primeval, more real, more alive. Like the storyteller of yore, the verbal raconteur, it’s an art that we suffocate with convenience, with progress.

In our of consumerist acquiescence we relegate our ability to “feel strong” to the level of our ability to buy experience - be it the ad men telling us “because you’re worth it” or a 15 minute lap in an F1 car branded as an “experience day”.

As Twain recalls in “Roughing It” the simple pleasures of life on the path are the most enduring; the charcoal aroma of pot cooked rice over a camp stove, conversations with strangers on the road, hunting jack rabbits and endless permutations of cloud shapes that rolled across the Nebraskan plains.

What fools we are. What cowardice.

* Bag the best seat on the airplane
* Arrive at the airport only 1 hour before your flight
* Find free food & beer at the airport!
* Jump the queues
* Travel in comfort, style and ease

It’s December and having just returned from Helsinki I can safely say I am on terra firma until the New Year. Time to catch my thoughts and indulge in some productive reflection.

This year my travels took my 250,000 km (according to my Tripit calculator) which as far as I remember equates to 6 times round the world.

Business travel teaches you a few things. Firstly, preparation is absolutely essential - for example, never travel on a Friday afternoon, always use the Airport VIP lounges (most don’t know they exist), don’t bother with North American domestic First/Business class tickets and never arrive 3 hours before your international flight. It’s just a few things that not only turn the process from being potentially tortuous to enjoyable but can save you time & money.

So here’s a few highlights and lowlights from this year’s travel. Feel free to add you own to the list.

Highlights

1) Tripit for the Iphone is the best app so far for travellers. I had it for a year, never used it before I realized it wasn’t a “social network for travellers” but actually a damned good tool for organizing your travel info.

• You can email hotel reservations, e-tickets and itineraries to tripit and it will (mostly) convert them into a standardized and well organized format keeping all your vital info in one place.
• As a bonus you can also use it to check in online and view your flight’s status (e.g. terminal, delays, arrival terminals etc).

2) Singapore Airport I think I could live here. In fact you could as there is a transit hotel airside. Why Singapore Airport?

• The VIP lounges are great - plaza premium and SATs are good examples (see point 3 below). Don’t bother milling around the shopping concourses trying to keep yourself entertained for 6 hours.
• Free massage chairs
• Great selection of food concessions including the wonderful South Indian dosa joint at the back of Terminal 3 (name escapes me but it’s worth trekking up there for breakfast)
• The rest & relaxation area (which is free)
• Butterfly garden

In fact, Singapore Airport is more interesting than Singapore itself perhaps because at least the former knows it’s an airport where the City thinks it’s an airport. Next time your airline offers you a layover option say no thanks and spend the night at the transit hotel and discover the delights of Changi!

3) Priority Pass. Take the $400 annual fee on the chin and get one. You will thank yourself many times over. It gives you access to over 600 VIP lounges in most airports (Oslo being the only one so far that doesn’t participate).

• If you’re travelling, don’t waste hours sitting round in communal lounges starting at flight screens and other bored passengers - get yourself a comfortable and quiet room with free wifi access, a scotch and free food (okay the food isn’t often anything to shout about but it’s fuel for the short term).
• Yes, there are the bog-standard Servisair/Gateway lounges that you find most dull airports (offering bog-standard biscuits and coke etc etc etc) but then there are the real beauties like the SATS rainforest lounge at Singapore Changi and the DILMUN LOUNGE!! (Dubai).
• There are some real highlights available to the time-poor business traveller - e.g. access the American Airlines Admirals Club can save you the ordeal of an extended wait in the poorly equipped Sao Paulo airport and taking a shower after a red eye flight at JFK (the showers are near hotel-standard).
• Some lounges restrict you to 3-4 hours access and others (like the rubbish Kuwait airways lounges) seem to only open when they want. There are plenty of 24 hour lounges which are a godsend. Get one, you won’t regret it.

4) Seat Guru is a godsend. Always check in yourself online where possible. Always choose your own seat.  Never leave it to the airline to decide. If you’re in Coach, Seat Guru is even more essential as they’ll end up putting you in 43E, the middle of the row in front of the toilets with no pitch space at the back… Needless to say it varies by airplane type (so check Seatguru). Also remember a few other seating tips:

• Back vs Front? It’s usually fuller at the front of the plane than at the back. If you’re flying a well-plied route (ie there are a number of carriers on this route) then chances are that if you’re in economy choose a seat at the back you could luck out at get a 4 row all to yourself… your own first class bed. (double check Seatguru though as you will find some aircraft don’t allow you to lift up the arm rests between seats which would spell disaster).
• Wing? Double check the wing’s location. E.g. on a 777-200 it’s rows 15-30 or thereabouts so the view’s going to be pretty boring if you’re stuck there for 7 hours. Some people also say that it’s a whole lot noisier behind the wing.
• Aisle vs Window? If you want to sleep, choose window; no one to wake you up wanting to go to toilet, a view plus something to rest your head against. If you’re on a short haul choose aisle; short haul passengers are always keener to get off fast so there’s a rush, the aircraft will be smaller so you’ll have more breathe space with the aisle next to you.
• ****+ Star Airlines Most airlines in the West are rubbish and thinking every Middle Eastern operator is up to Emirate’s standard sets you up for a lot of disappointment. Check out www.airlinequality.com to see how airlines are individually rated and the size of each airline’s seat. This stuff may seem a little obsessive but when you’re clocking 250k you’re committing a sizeable chunk of your life and sanity to their service levels. The first thing you’ll learn about booking flights is that price is not indicative of quality. For example, BA is often more expensive than Singapore Airlines but you should always choose a 5 star operator where possible (Singapore, Cathay, Malaysian, Qatar, Thai, Kingfisher, Asiana). If a toss up between 3 and 4 star choices for long haul - avoid 3 star.Fly in the States and you’ll realize why everyone raves about Jet Blue and South West airlines and the reason is that they are the only 4 star airlines flying domestically. All North American carriers are rubbish. Jet Blue and SW are exceptional by comparison. Given the choice between Delta/American First Class and Jet Blue coach - fly Jet Blue coach every time.A note on 2 star airlines. Yes, they exist so you must be really cash-strapped to fly with these guys. Avoid the temptation of booking business class on a 2 star outfit like Kuwait or Indian Airlines because it looks cheap. You’ll find the experience pretty nasty. Save your pennies and fly JetStar or Jet Airways and upgrade where possible to an extended seat.

5) Kayak (US/UK) is by far the best tool to find best flights because it’s fast and gives you immediate options. When it comes to booking flights here’s a few things to consider:

• Always choose an airline that offers online check in. Double check they can check in from the country you’ll be departing from e.g. TAM (Brazil) offer online check in but only from Brazil domestic. If the carrier doesn’t do online checkin - don’t fly them. You’ll end up wasting 1-2 hours in a queue and won’t be able to pick your seat.
• Discount hubs offer the best deals for travel e.g. LHR, Singapore, Hong Kong, BKK. Conversely, certain airports are expensive to fly to and even more expensive to get out of (CGK/Jakarta, Narita/Japan, any mainland China).
• Never choose the cheapest options. Kuwait and Air India offer dirt cheap business class tickets. You’ll find out why when you use them. It’s a false economy. Similarly many cheap economy offers mean flying with rubbish carriers (e.g. 3 stars), poor time slots and transfers (avoid at all costs)
• Single/Returns. Some carriers can charge you more for a single than a return or may not show up when searching only for a single even though a return is available. Only discount operators (e.g. Jet/JetStar/Ryanair/Jet Blue etc) seem to offer logical pricing structurers (i.e. 1-way is half price of 2-way).
• Transfer Loopholes. Have you noticed it’s sometimes cheaper to fly (for example) - A-B-C than A-B direct? There are complicated reasons for this to do with landing rites & more importantly plane inventory. However, if you’re only carrying hand luggage some fellow travellers have told me you can save money travelling to by booking a transfer A-B-C and skipping the C flight, alighting at B. Now I’m not sure how that works logistically with the airline and whether they’ll end up delaying the flight searching for the missing passenger but I know people who’ve done it.

6) One Bag: Never Check in Luggage! This is the golden rule of business travel - avoid check in at all costs. There are a few reasons for this:

• You add at least another 40 minutes to your time on both sides
• You risk having lost baggage which is no joke
• It’s just more things to worry about, more things that could go wrong
• On some domestic carriers they’ll charge you for check in
• You are much freer with just one carry on bagSo before you start freaking out about not being able to function with less than 5 pairs of shoes for an overnight trip consider the possibility of travelling 3 weeks with one bag (I did and it worked very well). This is tricky, requires a lot of discipline and a bloody good carry on bag. Here’s some advice on how to pack your stuff!

Here are some contenders that give you maximum allowable carry on capacity and perfomance:

• The AirBoss by RedOxx (34 litres I believe) - but only avail in US
• Caribee Fusion 21 (claims 65 litres but the space is not as practical as one would assume due to the roller bar/wheels and most is in side pockets which when full would not get you through customs)
• And this one by “Cabin” which claims 44 litres and doesn’t compromize space with wheels/handle etc. An interesting contender for 2010

The art of one-bagging requires organization. Check out ONE BAG (yes it exists!) for more info. Here’s a few hacks of my own: Get yourself bag organizers (small packing organizers you can segment up your bag contents e.g. clothes/wires/socks etc.) Not only does it make it easier to access/store/find your stuff it’s far more efficient with the limited space you have. For some time I experimented with the vacuum sealed roller bags that compressed your clothes in a fraction of the space but the zipper tags kept falling off and the bags became useless. Great idea, poor execution.

7) Offloading tricks If you’re flying short haul / domestic ask your crew if you’re landing at a hard or a soft stand (i.e. the bridge or the steps/bus route). If you’re doing the steps/bus route at a large terminal like Heathrow then wait until everyone gets off the plane first. Avoid the stress and the mad rush. Then you can be the last in the queue to board the bus (they’ve all been waiting squashed like sardines for 10 minutes). The benefit of not being the early worm is that you squeeze on as last on the bus steps and are first to hop off, first in line at immigration. Cheeky but has worked a treat a number of times!

Yotel is pretty cool. Catching an impossibly early morning flight? Don’t sweat yourself thinking about whether you’re going to wake up a 3am after a late night drinking with your clients, book yourself into a Yotel or a similar transit hotel (e.g. there are similar less cool outfits at Changi and KUL). You can book them on hourly rather than daily basis. Sleep refreshed and wake up on time your flight!

9) Your Essential Travel Equipment Apart from the bag as above, your pass and Iphone apps you’ll also need the following:

• An eye mask as on Amazon (get used to them, you’ll sleep better)
• Decent noise-cancelling headphones such as the Sony MDRNC22W. Some airlines don’t permit these kind of headphones so check in advance. Anyway, if you’re not bothered by the discomfort (some people say they can’t wear them) these headphones can effectively leave you to rest in peace as the rest of the cabin are entertained with the Captain’s monologue on how he’ll take you 37,000 feet and hang a left at Chicago or the screaming twins in the bassinet.
• Neck cushion is essentially if you’re travelling in economy long haul.
• A travel clock (don’t rely on hotels or phones to wake you up). You can buy an Atomic world clock that knows (via the radio airwaves) or something which timezone it’s in and adjust the time accordingly for about $20.
• Power! There are numerous power solutions. Get yourself 1 international adapter and that’s all you’ll need. Check out your airlines power situation on Seat Guru (not all offer power). Avoid these mat powered systems as they require you adapt your devices with a jacket so rather self-defeating. Now I’m using Iphone & Mac I only need the USB plug to power the phone which has reduced the number of cables/plugs needed substantially. Also check out Jeff Sandquist’s useful guide to finding power at world airports.

Lowlights

1) Short haul/domestic first class Waste of money. If you are armed with your Priority Pass (see above) and plan your airport experience well there are absolutely no tangible benefits from flying first over coach. Long haul is a completely different story (i.e. you need to work & sleep).

2) Business hotel breakfasts. With few exceptions, staying in a 4 star business hotel means boring breakfast buffets. Enough said on this subject.

3) Hell-hole airports. Not every airport you visit is like Changi, KL or Jet Blue’s Terminal 5. You have to rough it sometimes, so it’s good to know what you’re in for. If you’re in for Sao Paulo, Kolkata, Jakarta and even Narita (!) then you better make sure you know which lounge you’re going to use and wait times. In fact, airport choice can sway travel planning. Sometimes it’s impossible to avoid an airport but where it’s a difficult airport you may want to consider alternatives.

4) Most airline loyalty schemes are a waste of time unless you know exactly why you’re joining. For example, BA & Virgin’s schemes are worth joining if you’re working towards a gold account. Even with the silver accounts you can use premium check in lines so that’s a bonus. I believe Virgin gold club members also get a year’s free access to Regus meeting rooms as well (or similar - details to be confirmed). However, most long haul flyers derive little benefit apart from the occasional bump up due to full flights.

5) Friday afternoon I’ve made the mistake plenty of times and then only started correcting it when I made a mental note not to repeat my mistakes. Friday afternoon/ end of day is the worst time to travel anywhere in the world (with the exception of the Middle East). All domestic and intercontinental flights will be jam packed and everyone will be bringing excessive carry on. Friday is also the most delay-affected day as the ripples of earlier events accumulate towards the tail of the week. Where possible extend your hotel room one night and fly out Saturday morning to preserve your sanity.

Things to look forward to in 2010

1) Kindle. Being in the UK, we can buy the Kindle but don’t yet have full access so we’re still waiting. However, the need is already there; books comprise a large proportion of my carry on bulk so for the sake of making travel easier this appears a great solution. I’ve pulled back from importing to the UK for 2 reasons so far:

• There are a number of reports about it’s fragility (i.e screen outages)
• UK owners have to pay a $2 premium on each book for wireless delivery & VAT which puts kindle ebook prices above that of the printed version which just seems absolutely crazy.

Thoughts?

2) The Singapore-KL train. The flight is but one hour. However, add in taxis, airport nonsense etc it’s at least 4-5 hours. You can take the 1st class sleeper express from Singapore to KL leaving Singapore pm arrive KL around 6 am for $100. You get your own private cabin with shower and meals. You’d be spending that on a hotel and you’ll arrive without hassle of checkins, fellow travellers and straight in the centre of town. Worth considering?

3) World Taxi Meter. I’m usually in a country for one night only so assuming clients are paying for the flight & hotel it’s usually the taxi that’s the biggest outlay. In most countries the combined return fare is between $100 and $200. So if you’re visiting 10 cities in 3 weeks for example, you need to start managing your costs. I’ve used World Taxi Meter before with reasonable accuracy. Try it out to get a rough estimate of taxis in that city.

4) Singapore Airlines private suites They exist for first class on the double decker A380 (see here) - bankers, government officials wasting public money and footballers. One day I will fly the suite and tell you all about it just because I would have blown $10k on a 10 hour experience. Then again I could take my family to the Maldives for a week for that money… difficult choice.

5) Prayer Rooms? I once sat next to an old cad who had been flying since the days when DC-10s used to regularly fall out of the skies. He shared with me his number one “tip” developed from before Priority Pass or luxury lounges as we have now. He used to locate the “multi-faith prayer rooms” or “chapels” as they were known back then, find himself a nice quiet spot and sleep there. Nobody would disturb him. Worth bearing in mind if you get stuck!

Being half Scottish, half English the words of William Wallace should invoke a degree of partisanry in my bones. Yet, my curiosity with his maxim extends more to his lasting appeal of his spirit than to historical precedence.

And it’s exactly that - his spirit. That a man stood for something means a lot in an era where we collectively work hard towards mediocrity. Most of us are fortunate enough not to live under oppressive foreign regimes but all of us face the daily challenge of retaining our freedom.

I’m not talking about the Patriot Act, CCTV or airport security procedures. Yes they’re relevant but what I’m more concerned about are the smaller more persuasive acts of suppression.

The prize of freedom: the expression of individuality, time to sit and drink tea, reading a book, playing with your daughter on a lazy Sunday afternoon, a walk in the woods or an extended lunch with an old friend.

Personal Everests
For years I held the notion, inspired by countless boys-own books read on heroic attempts to scale the world’s 7 highest peaks or treks into the icy wildernesses, that if I climbed Everest I’d satiate the gnawing agitation of the soul that accompanied being an entrepreneur. The only problem was I couldn’t climb and didn’t have an experience in these conditions. I took climbing courses and became reasonably proficient but still lacked the hands-on experience necessary to make it happen. Unperturbed I decided to head to the Himalayas to see for myself believing that perhaps just seeing the mythical peak and South Col of Everest would bring some kind of spiritual awakening. For months I held the fantasy that I would be watching sunrise over Everest and experience an immense peace within my being, perhaps even break into tears.

When I finally reached Tiger Hill overlooking the plains of Bengal, Bhutan and Eastern Nepal in 2003 one icy dawn at 8,500 feet I have to confess that the experience was well, rather disappointing. An amazing site yes. But peace? No…

The trip, however, turned up new discoveries where I least expected them. An afternoon sat in the ancient Durbar square of Kathmandu was perhaps a memory I’ll never forget. As we watched the pageant of life in all its colors; orange robed mendicant saddhus asking for “one dollar taking photo”, blind beggar families, old men resting against sticks with no seeming purpose except to observe from afar, busybody policeman wielding large batons and the gold, orange, green and red saris of the womenfolk who came to give offerings and pray. We sat for 2 maybe 3 hours. It could have been all day, I can’t remember as I wasn’t conscious of time just sitting and watching. For those few hours I could honestly say I felt a deep sense of wellbeing and peace.

Eating the Apple
If you want to understand peace and the meaning of freedom I’d say look no further than your children. Just the other day my 3 year old son sat eating an apple on the living room sofa. The TV was off, the room was quiet except for the indulgent noises of his exploration of the apple. I’d say quietly “Is it good?” without response, he was too engrossed in the activity with all senses - smell, taste, sound and the sight of the apple.

The beauty of childhood is that there is no struggle for freedom, it exists. As we grow, our lives become complicated faced with constant change that many of us are ill equipped to deal with. Few of us could boast the ability to have a 3 hour lunch break as many of the Mediterranean cultures once did a generation ago. We all now live with our sandwiches at the desk and takeouts.

One afternoon in Sao Paulo with time to kill before my flight to New York I sat and watched the world go by from my hotel window. Brazilian office workers leaving in groups heading to a local corner outside Taverna where they must have dined for more than an hour. Brazil is undergoing great change and these wonderful customs imported from Italy and Portugal will, as in the cities of their forebears, soon disappear.

I read recently that a new study published by some clever University professor “proved” that showering for more than 3 minutes was inefficient. I don’t know about you, but I enjoy showering in the morning and 3 minutes is woefully inadequate. Sometimes I can take 10 or 15 minutes because I simply like to enjoy the experience rather than rush towards the goal of efficiency.

Our lives are constantly bombarded by inconvenient but seemingly innocuous compromises. The Healthy & Safety Diktats, the company memos, advertising, the infectious habits of lazy co-workers, peer pressure to buy a Wii for your kids or the content of our junk media. Each is a call to action that ultimate benefits the caller not the actor.

Resistance isn’t an armed struggle nor a sit down Salt March. Resistance is in the simple act of claiming back your freedom embodied in the small acts of everyday life. It’s okay not to wear a poppy on remembrance day. It’s okay not to spend all morning checking emails. It’s okay to not believe what Fox News tells us about the Iranians. It’s okay to not be “busy busy busy” or “snowed under”.

As Winston recalls the nursery rhyme in 1984 as the ultimate act of defiance and the “freedom fighter”, so our choices between freedom or security manifest not in the obvious but in the smaller picture - the countless choices we make on a daily basis.

Thursday 3rd December: Presentation @ Telenor, Oslo
Friday 4th December: Presentation @ 1530 youth marketing conference Helsinki
Monday 7th December: Presentation @ Heroes of the Mobile Screen London